Cover of The Veiled Dragon. A woman standing on a sailing ship is shooting a skeletal dragon with a ray of magic.

The Veiled Dragon

“If your Western characters all speak fluently and your Eastern characters all sound like ‘Thog discover fire! Cave warm now,’ then you’re implicitly infusing your book with a shitty racist message.”

The cover of The Titan of Twilight. A chubby-cheeked giant wearing a crown is ripping a tower off of a castle. Inside the tower is a cloaked woman with an expression of dull surprise.

The Titan of Twilight

“If I were to rank every baby in fiction by how sympathetically they’re portrayed, Kaedlaw would rank just ever so slightly above the keening fetus-beast from Eraserhead.”

The cover of The Giant Among Us. In the background, a two-headed giant unconvincingly breaks through a wall. In the foreground, a conventionally attractive blond man uses a shield to protect a conventionally attractive blond woman. Everyone looks like they were traced from photo reference.

The Giant Among Us

“We’re once again in not-quite-the-Realms, where only a single brief reference to ‘the continent of Faerûn’ establishes that we’re actually in the Forgotten Realms and not in some random standalone fantasy trilogy.”

The cover of Realms of Infamy. In the background, a dragon flies amongst rock spires. In the middle, a black-hooded man with a glowing staff and eyes looks menacing. In the foreground is a fancy-dressed man brandishing a sword.

Realms of Infamy

“TSR has finally gotten around to employing several new authors to write Realms material. Do these newcomers bring a fresh set of voices to familiar material, or are they just new line cooks churning out the same old dishes?”

The cover of The Ogre's Pact. In the center is an anatomically bizarre ogre with an axe. In the foreground is a man with a sword opposing it. Off to one side is a vaguely concerned-looking young woman.

The Ogre’s Pact

“The basic outline of the plot has promise — important person with dark secret, kidnapped daughter, mysterious forces behind it all — but the implementation is sloppy.”

The cover of Realms of Valor. In the background is Elminster, a white-bearded old man smoking a large pipe. In the middle ground is Arilyn, a half-elf with black curly hair, standing dramatically on a rock gazing into the distance. In the foreground is Drizzt, a hooded dark elf holding two scimitars crossed in front of his chest.

Realms of Valor

“The nice thing about a mixed bag like this is that even when you suffer through a badly-written story, you know it’s going to be short and you’ll probably get to a better one soon. Beats slogging through a bad 300-page novel, that’s for sure.”

The cover of The Parched Sea. Three people are sitting on the floor of a tent with a meal set in front of them. One is a black-robed Arab man waving a curved dagger around. The second is a veiled young woman recoiling from him. The third is a desert-robed white man who looks unconcerned about the display. The roast chicken in their meal looks like the author had never seen a cooked chicken before and drew it from a description.

The Parched Sea

“So what are we to make of this Lawrence of Anauroch? It may be derivative, but it’s certainly not boring.”

The cover of Dragonwall. In the background is Batu Min Ho, an Asian man with long black hair and a thin, drooping moustache. In the foreground are two women in tight-fitting cheongsam dresses and the Shou Emperor sitting on a throne shaped like a green dragon.

Dragonwall

“After all, the one thing D&D was really lacking was yet another goddamned word for polearms…”

The cover of Waterdeep. In the background is the city of Waterdeep at night, with the moon in the sky behind the signboard of the Yawning Portal tavern. In the foreground are Midnight, a black-haired young woman in an improbably revealing outfit and carrying a staff, and Kelemvor, a warrior in a red cape wielding a sword in both hands. Both are facing the viewer.

Waterdeep

“It’s not perfect — the pacing drags at points, Adon’s survival feels more preposterous than miraculous, and there are a few duds among the supporting cast — but it’s still a marked improvement over the previous couple of books.”